One could blog about the ridiculousness of Pimp My Ride UK indefinitely - the strange hair dos of the mechanics, the bad acting, Westwood - but seeing as the good lady wife has already had a bash at this (Bazmond's Blog) I'd like to suggest ideas how to improve the show rather than ridicule it.

At the beginning of every episode Westwood states how he is going to "pimp UK style" but they're not are they? They are just aping the American style which we have neither the flare nor the enthusiasm to pull off. We should embrace our britishness, and here's how.

So the match was lost, an army sized force is needed to clean up the city and a Zenit St Petersburg fan was stabbed. In the immortal words of Arnold J Rimmer – well I can’t say I’m surprised.

I admit I don’t like football, I agree with my boyfriend who states that football is so popular because its simplicity means the lowest common denominator can understand it. Clearly the type of denominator that will stab someone when their team loses. I really do try to have an open mind about football but time and time again I original feelings about it are proved correct.

Take the litter. One could be forgiven when getting off the bus this morning that you had arrived at the gates off a rubbish tip, not Manchester city centre. It was totally disgusting and due to the amount of beer spilt on the now extremely sticky Market Street, I fear resembled the T1000 when exposed to liquid nitrogen whilst I walked to work.

I’m tired, my feet hurt and I’m in work. I need some magic medicine. In my case it’s sausage butties. Nothing else can get me out of my doldrums and get me through the day. So butty and fruit juice in hand (well we all have to make some concessions to health) I head to the till and pay with a crisp tenner, freshly out of the coinshitter (for all those Charlie Brooker readers) and in doing so clean the poor canteen lady out of all of her £1s and 50ps. In my current place of work the canteen staff never complain when you pay with notes, something of a novelty, but it just adds to my guilt when I leave them changeless.

I keep seeing comments on tech sites such as www.slashdot.org that I really wished I had kept a note of.

Welll, I start today

by VultureMN (116540 on Wednesday February 13, @09:00PM (#22411216)
"They made a movie about vi?"

They did, but most people couldn't figure out how to leave the theater.

Oh yes 9/10

Celebrity perfumes really get up my nose.

I read something the other day about how Kate Moss was keen to create a 'signature scent'. Do they really think we are dumb enough to believe that Kate Moss is sat in a lab adding a smidge of lavendar and a pinch of musk to her lovingly created concoction? The most she probably does is have a quick whiff before it's shipped out to the shops. If the perfume makers were creating her true smell, it would probably smell of shampoo, lenor and the inevitable stale fags and booze - nice.

But its not about the smell at end of the day is it? Put Kate Moss's face on anything and it's likely to sell - expect the Kate Moss urinal later this year. Though why Jade Goody's perfume sold so well is still beyond me.

We all have favourite things, I love books. In fact it verges on the obsessive. I get a thrill when I enter a bookshop which I suspect other women get in shoe shops. I rearrange my furniture in the hope of finding space for another bookshelf. Books are quite frankly brilliant and can take you anywhere and let you do anything. This year alone I've travelled to another world in search of a fallen star, journeyed into untapped realms of the mind, delved into quantum physics, walked the mean streets with a private dectective and had an adventure with a scarecrow. Yes, all this from a book!

I just got an email from eBay inviting me to earn points by spending money by buying.

Their generous offer was for 5 points per £1 you spend. "Fair enough", I thought I will sign up and see what I could earn.

Well... it turns out that they are pretty crazy bands for the points. I have to earn 10000 points to get a T-shirt or a £5 web cam. 10000 points? I nearly fell off my chair with laughter. I laughed and laughed for all of a minute until the anger set in. They want me to spend £2000 in 53 days in order to get enough points to buy a T-shirt? Are they taking the piss? What kind of incentive scheme makes you spend the best part of 2 months wages to get a sodding T-shirt? ... Deep breaths ...

Met my mate at the Trafford Centre last night, and while I was waiting I was watching the OAPs at the tea dance that is hosted there every Tuesday. I think it's great - kudos to them for getting out there and keeping active (we could all take a leaf out of their books!). My new hero is the old gal in the yellow top dancing by herself, doing her own moves in her own little world. She was brilliant, dancing her socks off and not giving a toss who was looking.

Whilst I was watching them, there were a few teenagers watching to and I am afriad to say laughing. Bunch of small minded pricks. I've never really been a stout believer in respecting someone just because they have managed to live a long time but rather I believe they should earn respect on how they have lived their life, and getting out there and having a good time when others your age for starting to give up cetainly wins my respect. What's to laugh at? I'd like to ask these teenagers. The dancing? The fact that they are old? Laughing at someone because they are old is as bad as laughing at someone because of their colour or sexual orientation. What makes me laugh is the teenagers doing the laughing will be old themselves one day!

I've had it up to the proverbial here with the responses I have been getting from large companies recently. They never answer the bloody question that you have emailed them! "try the helpful FAQs on our website" they proclaim. The aforementioned FAQs are about as helpful as a rotweiler waitress with a migraine.

This all started when I emailed the DVLA to ask if I could tax my car if my registration document and insurance certificate had different addresses. I think even the simplest of you out there will agreed this is a 'yes' or 'no' question. What did I get? 4 paragraphs of absolute rubbish - 1 telling me how to declare my car SORN, another about the penalities of having no tax and 2 others of irrelevant rubbish. So obviously copy pasted from the 'use these if the word tax is mentioned' file.

Well, what a stir the new logo has caused.

Can me cynical, but I am the only person who thinks they chose a crap logo on purpose just to get everyone talking? Afterall there's no such thing as bad publicity.

Give it a week they'll admit they're wrong and when they have everyone's attention, wheel out the 'back-up' logo or hold a nationwide competition to get a design for one.

I think its all a case of sly marketing.