There's a programme on BBC3 on Tuesdays that has stoked my ire. The progrmme in question is called 'Don't tell the Bride'. The premise of the programme is that a well meaning if sometimes misguided Groom plans the whole wedding in 3 weeks for a (usually) demanding wedding obsessed Bride.
I'm not a fan of the big wedding, as many know. And people usually interpret this as me being anti-marriage which on the whole I am not. It annoys me immensely that these bridezillas truly believe that the colour of the bridemaids dresses or the invitations are the most important thing in the world. Really? Is it some indicator of future happiness I am unaware of? Call me naive but surely the way a man treats you or respects you is a better measure of future happiness that the ribbon on the invitation being the same colour as the cake.
Weddings are basically all the same - church, nice reception location, dress, suits, bridesmaids, cake, photos, meal, speeches, drunk relatives dancing. Not many couples dare defer from this route because this has been rammed down their throats as 'fairytale' and 'romantic' since they were little. It made me laugh tonight when the bride said she had been planning her perfect wedding since she was 7. Well if that's true and she's anything like me she'll be marrying Jason Donovan wearing a pink tutu with the Care Bears as bridesmaids. At least it would be different I guess.
Also in tonight's episode of 'Don't tell the bride' the Groom had to sing to the Bride. This is what she wanted and this was no doubt rammed down her throat as a romantic notion from a very early age. Personally I found it insincere, unimaginative and quite frankly embarrassing. This isn't romance, there was nothing personal or unique. It was a lame copy of what many had done before. Over the years I've had some of the most romantic gifts from B that none you could imagine because they weren't from the 'Hallmark list of things which are officially romantic'.
I feel that weddings have lost their way. For too many it's about the 'perfect day' and the true meaning is lost. It's just the start. I remember years ago seeing a couple on TV getting married at a little chapel in Vegas. They both wore jeans and scruffy shirts, and quite frankly looked like they needed a good wash. But the look of love in their eyes as they said their vows was deeper that any perfectly dressed and polished bridal party I've ever seen. Not that they were more in love but they weren't on show. They didn't have to worry about fluffing their lines or Auntie Janet starting a row with Grandma. It was just them. Them, their love and their future together. What could be more romantic than that?